How To Make Him Into The Perfect Husband

Her husband? Oh, won't that be nice.

Is this your purse?

No, no, Shannon, it's mine.

Tess Hamilton, 9055 Westlake Avenue. She's a neighbor, how nice.

Oh, and this must be your husband. Oh, he's a handsome fellow, isn't he?

I hope you've both had a very happy marriage, because it's over now.

Shannon, Shannon, I want to say something.

Don't step on my begonias!

Oh, this is going to be fun. One last plea, you cretin.

I come home from work to spend a little time with you before I fly off to my convention,

and I catch you diddling with this cheap tramp here.

Not cheap!

Shannon, listen, please listen. She's a stupid, terrible mistake.

No, no, I don't mean that. Listen, please listen. Will you talk this out?

I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll send her home, right, immediately.

And then we can talk like usual.

Oh, please, please, Shannon. Don't blow this out of proportion.

Sit down.

Now, Shannon, don't get bitten.

I said sit down!

All right, all right. Cool it. I'll sit down.

Shit. - Hey, watch out for our begonias.

...